A SYMBOL OF OPPRESSION IS FINALLY REMOVED!

There has been much controversy and discussion about the removal of the Confederate Flag lately.  Many claim that it is a symbol of victory and an important part of history but there is much violence, racism and hate associated with this flag:

Bree Newsome (with assistance of a friend) took the initiative and climbed the flag pole to take down the flag herself.  We all understand and know what transpired during the civil rights movement.  There was no equality for people of colour during that time.  People of colour couldn’t use the same fountains and washrooms of whites, they couldn’t go to the same schools.  And if you spoke or advocated for equality; you were beaten, degraded and even killed.

I applaud those who came before Bree Newsome and stood up to their oppressors, people who demanded respect and equality and who didn’t want to be treated like they were unworthy.  All over the world people like; Harriet Tubman, Representative John Lewis, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, Booker T. Washington, Mohandas and Kasturba Gandhi, Cesar Chavez, Malcolm X, Desmond Tutu, Bob Moses and Ella Baker fought their oppressors and demanded change around the world.

Today, this type of oppression continues by those who are supposed to serve and protect everyone.  It is common to see videos of white policeman beat and kill so many people of colour.  When politicians are debating creating barriers, fences and walls to keep immigrants out, what else are we supposed to conclude except that these same politicians are pandering to the white racist America.  If they are treating minorities from other countries this way, it isn’t inconceivable to believe that politicians and legislators want to keep America’s minorities disenfranchised, poor, uneducated and oppressed.

So, when you hear your friends say things like; “they do it to themselves”, “if they were not committing the crimes, they wouldn’t be in jail”, “they are supposed to listen to the police” and so many other ignorant statements, they are just regurgitating the sentiments expressed by corporate media to insure we keep those same minorities lucid and submissive.

The REVOLUTION OF LOVE continues – we are the many that have had enough of those few who want to continue this oppression.  Knowledge is power!  With knowledge, determination and passion POSITIVE CHANGE is inevitable.  So many have given their lives to ensure those people who have oppressed others and their symbols are removed but never forgotten.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE GAY

I have known that there was something wonderful and different about me.  This wonderful thing wasn’t something I reacted to – it was something that was embedded within me.  I didn’t learn it because it was something I just didn’t turn on – it was always there since my birth.  The only time I started doubting my authenticity was when I realized how others viewed those who were born with this ‘uniqueness’.  I was gay, I was me, I was authentic but I now had to deny my authenticity because others were uncomfortable with it.  So I did, until I was 21 and tired of living a lie and trying to please and garner respect from others who had no respect for me. 

So what was it like to be gay?  I can answer this question based on various stages and ages:

From my birth to the age of 12:  Like I mentioned above, it wasn’t until I understood how people felt about those who were different, that I decided to keep my authenticity to myself.  I remember how ridiculed, belittled, verbally and physically abused and harassed gay people were by those who didn’t tolerate it and only because of this, I decided to live a closeted life.

Between the ages of 13 and 20:  I understood I was different, I understood I wasn’t really interested in a sexual relationship with those of the opposite sex but alas, society, peers, religion and family enforced their distaste for homosexuals.  I wasn’t encouraged to live an authentic life, so I continued living a life for others and not for myself.  This lie caused much inner-turmoil and created self-hatred and internal homophobia.

Between the ages of 21 and 30:  I was finally free.  I was in my first long-term relationship and felt I couldn’t live my life filled with lies, deception and without being true to myself.  I came to terms with the fact that I couldn’t change who I was – I was born like this.  I was happy with who I was and the problem didn’t lie with me, it lied with those who were ignorant and biased against me and others who were born like me.  These people justified their hate and ignorance behind their religious beliefs and the stereotypes they knew to be true about the lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-gendered community.  I had enough.

Between the ages of 31 and now:  I became more and more comfortable in living my authentic life.  The weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders.  If any of my friends of family had issues with who I was, I was comfortable enough to remove them from my life and allow them to deal with their own prejudices.  Mostly, there weren’t any issues about my sexuality amongst my friends or family that became evident.  If anyone had issues, they were never brought to my attention.  I am who I am.  For those who believe in religious doctrine – I am who God made me to be and if we are all products of The Maker, than the maker is gay, straight, bisexual, black or white.  We DO NOT choose the colour of our skin or our eyes but we do choose what we believe.

So, what is it like to be gay?  Simply, the same as it is to be straight.  If being gay is a choice, then being straight must also be a choice.  I am not defined by my “gayness”, I am defined by my character.  I believe that my character CHOOSES to create positive change in the world, to help people who are down, to encourage people to be kind, loving, compassionate and caring – those are choices, and I would rather choose love and kindness over hate and ignorance.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

 

“COMING OUT” IS FOR THE BENEFIT OF THOSE WHO “COME OUT”

How many times have I heard the following statements?  “Why do gay people have to come out?” or “Straight people to come out.”  Those individuals who complain the most about any man or women that are finally able to embrace their gender/sexual identity and live authentic lives are the ones that protest the loudest.  As a gay male – who hasn’t really officially ‘come out’ explain why this process is a process that many in the LGBT community need to allow to happen naturally:

First, here is the reason that people in the LGBT community must ‘come out’……(using my own personal experience, which is very similar for so many people)….I have always known that I was attracted to men, it wasn’t confusing – I was attracted to men.  I didn’t wake up one morning and decide, “I think I’ll begin an emotional and physical attraction to men today” – that just doesn’t happen.  

There are many reasons that I didn’t decide to share my feelings in regards to being attracted to men, the most pressing was societies lack of acceptance towards people in same-sex relationships due to their religious beliefs.  Many so-called “religious people” who identify as Christian and God-fearing, justify their hate through their interpretation of the Bible.  They impose their religious ideologies and outright condemn homosexuals due to those religious ideologies and beliefs.  What if you don’t buy into those religious ideologies?  How do you justify not accepting a group of individuals as equal to everyone else?  Sounds very similar to what many black activists demanded during the civil rights movement, doesn’t it?  

I heard the many negative stories of people being kicked out of their homes and being disowned by family and friends after coming out.  I saw the harassment and bullying that many ‘out’ kids received in school.  Many were verbally, emotionally and physically assaulted – not only by their peers but by the school officials.  I wasn’t even out and was called, “faggot”, “queer”, “pussy”, “fairy” and so many other names that reinforced the lack of acceptance of people who were attracted to the same-sex.  This mistreatment wasn’t only experienced in public places – it was present in the home.  My uncle was gay – he has since passed but I remember that my mother loved him very much but no-one talked about his lifestyle.  It was kept secret and was a taboo topic of discussion because he was gay.  If family frowned and looked negatively upon my uncle’s homosexual identity – why would I make the decision to come out and open myself to further emotional turmoil?

There came a period in my life where I wanted nothing more than to find a partner and finally be free of living a double life.  But I knew that if that day came, my life would be an open book. 

I had many internal struggles and luckily found a community of people I could be myself with.  Many people like me – outcasts, freaks of nature, sexual deviants and predators as we were commonly referred to by those making the judgements.  I finally realized that my sexual identity didn’t define me and that I just happened to be a man who had attractions to other men.  There was nothing wrong with me.  On a warm night in Toronto’s gay community – I walked and pondered how my friends and family would react when I finally ‘came out’?  As I pondered this – a van squealed by and I heard several guys calling out to me; “hey faggot, wanna suck some cock”, “come and get it fairy” and eventually “die, faggot”  I had never been a victim of gay-bashing but I certainly came close that night – one of the guys in the van threw a beer bottle in my direction – missing me by inches, they then sped off.  This incident enraged me.  I was physically attacked because of where I was and for who I was even though these bullies didn’t know I was gay.

I was lucky – I finally made the decision to come out but only to myself.  I had to address and remove all the internal homophobia I had within.  I learned to love myself and I learned to deal with all the anger within me.  I met some wonderful people who looked death in the face but decided not to look at the world with hate and anger.  These people showed me that we had to stand strong and that we should not be treated as sexual predators or deviants.  We were brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, sons and daughters.  They showed me that we were teachers, policemen and women, doctors, lawyers, government employees, bank tellers, janitors or scientists – we were like everyone else.

I came out alright – but, I came out for the person it meant the most to – ME!  My ‘coming out’ wasn’t for anyone else.  It wasn’t for my father, mother, brothers, sisters or friends – if they didn’t accept me, I wasn’t going to take on their ignorance.  In ‘coming out’ – I made a decision that my life was going to be better for it.  Coming out would allow me to live authentically and positively.  So many of us in the LGBT community, want and need to be accepted by friends and family but, I learned that the only person that mattered in this process was me.  Coming out didn’t change the person I was.  I was the same Rob and this realization allowed me to see the ignorance in other people.  

The worst thing I hear from people now is – “I respect and love you but I don’t accept your lifestyle choice, it’s wrong” – I don’t accept that.  If you love and respect me as I love and respect you – there are no stipulations to that love and respect.  Imagine if I turned to a friend and said, “I love and respect you but your heterosexuality disgusts me.” It sounds just as ridiculous as, “I love and respect you but I don’t accept your lifestyle choice, it’s wrong.” 

Lifestyle choice….these words suggest that I made the choice to become gay.  That being said – if I can make the choice to be gay – then everyone can.  So, to all of you God-fearing people out there who are quick to reference the Bible on homosexuality, I dare you to make the same choice I did and become gay. 

We must thank those people who hold no judgements on others because of the colour of their skin, their gender, sexual identity, nationality or any other attributes that make them unique and different.  We must embrace individual diversities and allow people to live authentically so that we can all have a safe, inclusive and positive environment.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

 

 

KINDNESS IS IN ALL OF US TO GIVE

Why do we allow ourselves to be troubled by those who are not connected to good and positive energy?

Mostly it is because we let our ‘egos’ get in the way.  We always have a desire or need to be right or believe that are views are the only views that matter.  We place  judgements on others based on religion, lifestyle and people’s appearances.  Our achievements are no less important than the achievements of anyone else.  We also tend to deem our lives are much more important than the lives of our ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’.  We are all connected and all come from the same Source.  Ego is what makes the distinction of our differences.

Knowing this – isn’t kindness, love, compassion and empathy in all of us to give and to receive?  Yes, it is!

Take a look at how your previous days, weeks, months, years have passed and how your energy levels affected those around you and yourself.  Usually, when you are sending positive energy out into the universe, it is usually want comes back to you.  Imagine if that is all that you allowed yourself to give to others and yourself – your life would be much more gratifying. We have all heard the saying;  “The energy you give is the same energy that is returned to you.”  Thinking of that mantra, allow yourself to be kind, compassionate and empathetic.  Connect with positive vibration.  Allow yourself to help others without the expectation of receiving anything in return.  Once you release this positive energy into the universe, you will find that that same energy is what comes back to you.  You will notice that the answers you were seeking will present themselves.  You will attract like-minded people and your life and soul will thank you for it.

Be a soldier for the REVOLUTION OF LOVE and help create positive energy everywhere in the world.  Be kind and compassionate to the environment, animals and to each other.  Show empathy for those who require it and let LOVE rule your world.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!  

 

NO ONE SHOULD BE DENIED THE LUXURY OF LOVE

The Michael Sam kiss stirred much controversy – only because it was a male-on-male kiss.  We have never seen this type of scrutiny over a heterosexual kiss.  People need to realize that we are not all the same and there are different types of relationships.  I don’t recall as much controversy on the show ‘Sister Wives’ and their polygamist lifestyle (which I believe, doesn’t really justify the sanctity of marriage).  Needless-to-say, this group of polygamists are supposed to be in a loving and devoted marriage consisting of 1 man and 4 wives.  Yet – many of the religious right are outraged by two men kissing on live television.  Shouldn’t we be encouraging people to celebrate love?

Bill Maher gives his perspective on the kiss and I applaud him!

Love doesn’t just happen to a man and a women – it happens to all men and all women.  There are all types of love – love for your friends, love for your family, love for your pets, love for a television program/celebrity – there is also love for a partner, soul-mate, lover and spouse.  If we grant, respect and validate this type of love for a man and a women, why is the concept so hard to grasp for two men or two women who love each other?  Simply – religion.  People take certain (not all) religious passages to be the word of God – only when it suits their purpose and only to justify their hate and ignorance for what they don’t understand or simply – what they don’t like.  To them, I say:  “Life is too short to waste hating someone you don’t even know.  Don’t tell me that what you believe is what is – because when it comes to LOVE and being in love – no one should be denied that luxury.”

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

 

WORDS HURT – CHOOSE THEM WISELY.

How often have you made a comment about someone and never really thought of the impact it would have on that person?  Words hurt – I know.

I remember a difficult time in my life where I realized that I was not quite the same as everyone else, I knew there was something different.  I was gay.  The way society, family and religion viewed homosexuality made it very difficult for me to live my true and authentic life.  Why would I publicly admit to being a homosexual when all I heard of the topic was negativity and things like;  your family will turn your back on you, your friends will hate you, you will be beaten, you will die of AIDS and that God didn’t accept gays.  So I decided to live a lie based on what society and religion dictated.

During my life in hiding and not choosing to live my authentic life – I began to hate myself and others who were able to live their authentic lives all because I could not.  I remember being called ‘faggot’, ‘homo’, ‘cocksucker’ and ‘fairy’, I would fiercely deny this and re-assure the people who called me these names that I would never belong to such a deviant group.

Years passed and in order to save myself from a life of depression and possible suicide – I decided that I needed to live my life as my true and authentic self.  I couldn’t change who I was – I know, I’ve tried for 21 years.  I finally allowed myself to feel, live and be the person I was born as.  It was so relieving finally being honest with myself.  But the name-calling didn’t stop.  I heard people use the words faggot, homo, cocksucker, fairy and so many other names that were meant to hurt and demean but, I decided that I needed to start standing up for myself and for other people who were being called these names.

I am not perfect – none of us are…what we need to do is really think about the impact of the words we use and how they affect others.  We are not BITCHES, NIGGERS, FAGGOTS, WHORES, FAIRIES, PAKIS, SAND MONKEYS, DYKES, SPICS, FROGS, FRESH OF THE BOAT, SLUTS, FATSO, LAZY and whatever else we are called.  Those who call us these names are insecure and can’t face their insecurities, that is why they bully and feed off the weakness of those who can’t stand up for themselves.  NO MORE!

It is our responsibility to ensure we stop those who use these hateful and degrading words to demoralize another group.  Imagine a time when you were the topic of bullying/name-calling.  Remember how you felt and let that be your guide to speak out against people doing the same to others.  The easiest way of doing this is to imagine someone calling your mother, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, friend, niece, nephew or anyone you love – these hateful words.  Empathy is powerful.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

YOU ARE FAT, UGLY……

FAT, UGLY, BITCH, SLUT, WHORE, FAGGOT, STUPID, DUMBASS, DYKE, LOSER, NIGGER, PAKI, CHINK, etc….. – I’m sure many of us remember what it feels like to be called one or more of these names.  Many people used these names to degrade us and to make us feel like we don’t belong.  Many of these words are used today to make so many people feel like they don’t belong.  If you are one of those people who are being called any of these names and you don’t feel like confronting the person/people who are calling you these names – know that it will stop.  Don’t let the word deflate the beautiful person you really are – allow the word to empower you to act with love and compassion to others who may be in the same situation.  Don’t let someone’s ignorance define you by how and what they call you.  Don’t let someone else’s negative energy get the better of you.  Like I said, if you don’t feel like confronting the person/people who are calling you these names – you don’t have to.  Instead, create a support group with other people who are in the same situation as you.  Create something positive from those who are instilling their ignorance, hate and negativity onto you.

For those of you who witness this type of bullying and ignorance – STAND UP and put an end to it.  Stopping ignorance, bigotry and hate doesn’t have to be surrounded in conflict or violence.  We all have the right to ask someone not to be mean or to stop treating others with disrespect – it is our duty!  We are responsible for lifting people up and making them feel worthy not destroy their confidence.

Just over a year ago – my partner shared a story about a young lady who was being harassed on YouTube.  People made horrible and hateful comments on a video she posted and went as far as saying that she should be killed.  This extraordinary women is Lizzie Velasquez.  Instead of becoming overwhelmed with the hateful comments – Lizzie fought back and became a worldwide inspiration for many.  Today, Lizzie motivates people around the world with her inspirational speeches.  You can read her story in the book, Lizzie Beautiful:  The Lizzie Velasquez Story written by Lizzie and her mother, Rita.  You can also be inspired by reading her first book entitled, Be Beautiful Be You.  Both books are available via www.amazon.com

For more information about Lizzie – you can visit her website via www.aboutlizzie.com

Lizzie’s story motivated my partner and I to create a Facebook page and a Care2 petition.  You can join/like the Facebook page and send Lizzie comments, the page is called:  WE LOVE LIZZIE VELASQUEZ.  The petition was created to have Lizzie share her story on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, which was a dream for Lizzie.  (I don’t watch television too often so I don’t know if this happened or not).  To sign and share the petition – please visit the following site:  http://www.thepetitionsite.com/773/181/761/we-love-lizzie-velasquez-and-would-love-to-see-her-on-the-ellen-degeneres-show/

Here is Lizzie speaking at the TEDx Women of Austin event.

These are the stories we should be sharing with our friends and our families.  Someone you may know is potentially being bullied right now – your son, daughter, brother, sister, mother, father or friend.  I am sure you wouldn’t want them to feel so bad about themselves.  We have seen or heard the stories of so many teens taking their own lives because of how others made them feel.  Let’s make sure we don’t allow this to continue.

We have all made mistakes and have used some of the words above in order to describe someone.  Maybe out of anger, resentment, ignorance or fear – whatever the reason, there is no excuse.   The best thing to do is to apologize and ask for forgiveness from the person we hurt with those words.  We can also think before we speak – words hurt and ultimately they words you speak are saying something not only of the person you are speaking about, they also say so much about yourself.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

LOVE IS GAY and LOVE IS EVERYONE.

How do you define love?  What does love mean to you?  Here is one definition of love according to the The Concise Oxford Dictionary, Ninth Edition:  The foremost authority on current English:

love (n)  – an intense feeling of deep affection of fondness for a person or thing

We all have felt intense feelings of deep affection for many people or things but there are varying degrees of love.  You can love a family member as affectionately and with the same fondness as a good friend.  You can have a deep intense love for the planet, a hobby, an animal or even an object.  But no love is the same as the love you share with that ‘special someone’.  What makes this type of love different is the emotional, physical and sexual intimacy you share which heightens the intense of deep affection to a whole different level.  This is the kind of love I share with my husband – Jason.  We have been together for 19 years and have legally been married for 6.  We had mixed emotions about getting married – were we doing it because it was legal in Ontario, Canada, were we doing it for the sake of being married, or were we doing it for no reason at all.  Jason and I got married for all of those reasons and so that we could be viewed equally under the law as our heterosexual counterparts.  That brings me to the story of Shane Bitney Coney and Thomas Lee Bridegroom.

The first time I heard of these two young men was when I came across a YouTube video entitled:  It Could Happen To You.  There are no words to describe the video – the only thing I can say about it was that Shane allowed me to feel his pain, his anguish, his suffering and his hurt.  I want to reach out and hug him, comfort him, do anything to help with the pain he was feeling.  Watch for yourself:

I watched this several times and imagined how I would feel if I was told that I would not be able to see my husband if he was ever hospitalized – I would be devastated.  Again, my thoughts went to Shane and I cried thinking about the despair he felt.  But, that despair was only the beginning.  Imagine not being able to properly say goodbye to the person you loved more than anything in the world – How would that make you feel?  My feelings of sadness for Shane turned to anger towards Tom’s family for not allowing Shane to attend his partner’s funeral.  How could Tom’s family turn their backs on a loving partnership of 6 years?  How could they cut 6 years out of a young man’s life and misrepresent their son in a different light?  I kept Shane’s video images in my head for a long time – especially since Shane and Tom’s story could have been mine and Jason’s story or the stories of so many other same-sex couples who are in loving, committed relationships.  I would say ‘prayers’ for Shane and lovingly send them out into the universe in hopes that they would reach him and give him the strength to carry on.

I was happy to know that a full-length feature documentary was being made about Tom and Shane’s relationship and the love they shared for one-another.  The documentary ‘BRIDEGROOM’ became a reality after much support from the likes of Brad and George Takei and Neil Patrick Harris and so many other influential people.  Over 6,500 people funded the film on Kickstarter.com and it became the most funded documentary in the history of crowd funding.  The film was written, directed and produced by Linda Bloodworth-Thomason creator of the critically acclaimed television series Designing Women.  The film was released in the fall of 2013.  For more about the movie, bios about the people behind the documentary, the official trailer – please visit the movies official website:  http://bridegroommovie.com

I hope that the hurt and pain that was left in Shane’s heart has decreased and I hope that Shane’s current devotion to removing the barriers of marriage inequality has somewhat filled that emptiness.  I know that nothing Shane does will ever bring Tom back – but, I do know that wherever Tom is he is smiling, knowing that Shane is standing strong and fighting for something they already had – A deep sense of love.  I tap 3 times on the desk my computer sits on in the memory of the love these 2 young men shared and for all the work Shane has/is doing for marriage equality.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one! 

WE DON’T HAVE STRAIGHT PRIDE, SO WHY IS THERE A GAY ONE?

This is why……………

A gay activist is beaten by Russian youths (Russia 2013)

I’m sure that New Yorkers wouldn’t care…..

Violence in the name of ignorance and hate.

Ignorance in religious institutions.

Gay = Death is some countries, IMAGINE.

Keep supporting those bigoted popular tourist destinations.

If Allah says so – then HE must be right, never question HIS judgement.

God really, REALLY hates homosexuals.

Another ‘hate-crime’ victim.

Gays LOVE, LOVE, LOVE sex much, much more than heterosexuals – it’s alright right here in these bullshit statistics.

Neighbourly love.

GOD really, REALLY, REALLY hates homosexuals.

If Religious leaders promote ignorance and hate – why shouldn’t their followers?

We won’t stop until we get ALL of your children.

Faggot and Queer – not subtle enough.

Nothing wrong with calling someone a fag.

Parental abuse at its best. Nothing like teaching your children the difference between right and wrong.

Hate crime violence is increasing – especially in gay communities around the world.  People want to continue the oppression in the name of religious freedoms.  They justify their hate and intolerance by siting bible passages and the God has said that homosexuality is ‘an abomination’ (God said nothing about committing acts of violence against another human being).  For all of you people who say “why must they throw their perverted lifestyle in our faces” and “we don’t have a straight pride parade”……..you obviously have never been faced with the threat of violence because of whom you love.  For you – everyday is ‘straight pride’ because your sexuality, lifestyle and whom you love is never an issue and most likely is never faced with the threat of violence and even death.

It is more important than ever to celebrate GAY PRIDE and to support your local Gay Pride events.  The GAY PRIDE PARADE(s) is usually the close of week-long events for the community and is an overall representation and diversity of that community and its allies.  

Together, we can make the world a more positive one! 

GAY MARRIAGE – IS IT THE END OF CIVILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT?

I have been legally married to my partner of almost 20 years now for just over 6 years.  Our marriage has not brought down the ‘wrath of God’, it has not disrupted any of the lives of our friends or family and it certainly hasn’t inconvenienced any of those who adamantly opposed it for years.   In the eyes of Canadian law – my partnership/marriage is treated as equal as that of my sister and her husband’s partnership or the partnership of my mother and father.  As it should be.

The Supreme Court of The United States (SCOTUS) is preparing to hear arguments in the Prop 8 (Proposition 8 was a California ballot proposition and a state constitutional amendment passed in November 2008 state elections.  The measure added a new provision, Section 7.5 of the Declaration of Rights, to the California Constitution, which provides that “only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California DOMA) and DOMA (Defence of Marriage Act).

It is my belief that if religious institutions don’t believe in gay marriage – they shouldn’t have to perform them and should not be forced to do so.  What I don’t agree with is when businesses deny their services or products to individuals because of their sexual orientation and religious beliefs.  I don’t understand why homosexuals would even support these religious institutions or businesses that blatantly discriminate against them because of who they love. 

Psychology Today listed Top 10 Reasons to Support Gay Marriage back in May 2012 – here is the Top 10:

1. Discrimination frays the human spirit.
2. Making committed human connections is good for physical and mental health.
3. Forming families, traditional or not, is good for the soul.
4. Marriage is a basic human right and an individual personal choice and the State should not interfere with same-gender couples who choose to marry.
5. Homosexuality is a normal variant of adult sexuality; gay men and lesbians possess the same potential and desire for sustained loving and lasting relationships as heterosexuals including loving and parenting children.  This is supported by hard data, not just opinion.
6. Discriminatory marriage laws deprive gay and lesbian couples of over 1000 federal rights and benefits.
7. Deprivation of these benefits has demonstrable negative psychological and social impact on same-sex couples, their children and families.
8. Change and adaptation make for a stronger and psychological richer society.
9. Same-sex couples can teach heterosexual couples how couples in relationships lacking gender-based power dynamics often solve problems and make decisions with more respect and mutuality.
10. Ending discrimination enhances the human spirit and makes all of our lives better.

(Some of these reasons are taken from the position statement of the American Psychoanalytic Association on gay marriage approved in 1997 and revised in 2008. To read the entire statement and other American psychoanalytic Association position statements on gay rights and other social issues, go to http://apsa.org/About_APsaA/Position_Statements.aspx)

Gay marriage or homosexuality – will not be the end of civilization.  Homosexuality has been around since the beginning of time and the world has been no different.  People tend to fear what they don’t know or understand.  If people don’t let go of their fears and come to understand that we are all the same – then they will never be able to let go of their ignorance and intolerance. 

Together, we can make the world a more positive one.