HAPPY GAY PRIDE – MUSIC VIDEO

As we continue to celebrate the ruling SCOTUS made yesterday in deeming Prop 8 unconstitutional – I want to look back into the past, 1984 to be exact.  I was in High School and was living a life as a closeted teenager.  I didn’t know where to go for support – I knew how my friends and family felt about homosexuals (especially males) and wasn’t about to ‘come out’ to any of them.  The only release I managed to receive was in pop music. 

There were a lot of ambiguous music groups and artists that were just reaching peak stardom levels, groups such as; Duran Duran, The Cure, Depeche Mode, The Human League, Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, New Order, Yaz, etc….What I really connected with were bands that had openly/known gay singers and band mates like; Culture Club, Frankie Goes To Hollywood and especially Bronski Beat.  (I learned of Andy Bell of Erasure a few years later).  

Music transcended the closet for me and I guess, for many others.  These bands had massive hit records and albums during that time.  I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t come out especially when Bronski Beat had a hit on the charts about a young boy’s struggle and coming out with his homosexuality.  The song was called “Smalltown Boy”.  This song resonated with me – it was about me, it was my story and it was on the radio everywhere.  The irony is that the song didn’t give me the courage to come out and live my authentic life – for me, it reinforced why I should stay closeted.  I didn’t want to be bullied, I didn’t want to lose my friends and most of all – I didn’t want to be ostracized by my family.  What that song did was allow me to begin the dialogue with myself in accepting who I was because it was confirmation that there were many others out there like me.

I think the LGBTQ community should acknowledge the importance of pop music and artists such as Divine, Sylvester, Culture Club, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Madonna, Elton John, Erasure and Bronski Beat – some for being openly gay and not apologizing for it and some for embracing the community without fear of what could happen to their careers.  These artists, through their music and videos, have provided an escape of a harsh reality that so many today (and yesterday) couldn’t live through.  So thank you and Happy Pride.

Here are the lyrics to “Smalltown Boy” :

You leave in the morning
With everything you own
In a little black case
Alone on a platform
The wind and the rain
On a sad and lonely face

Mother will never understand
Why you had to leave
But the answers you seek
Will never be found at home
The love that you need
Will never be found at home

Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

Pushed around and kicked around
Always a lonely boy
You were the one
That they’d talk about around town
As they put you down

And as hard as they would try
They’d hurt to make you cry
But you never cried to them
Just to your soul
No, you never cried to them
Just to your soul

Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

Cry, boy, cry…

You leave in the morning
With everything you own
In a little black case
Alone on a platform
The wind and the rain
On a sad and lonely face

Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

Here is the video that gave me inspiration to begin to live my true and authentic self….enjoy!

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

ANDERSON COOPER COMING OUT – GAY ROLE MODELS

Many people are blogging about Anderson Cooper coming out.  Many are saying:  “that this was old news and that they are not surprised”, many others are also saying that it was a vital move on his part for coming out especially when he was reporting on bullying and the need to advocate against it.  We look to celebrities and public figures as role models and as such, should they not be responsible to be truthful about who they really are? 

Growing up in the 80’s – I didn’t really have too many gay role models to look up to – especially as a closeted gay pre-teen.  Everytime I did see a gay person on television or in print – they were always flamboyant and feminine or they were painted as being deviant, promiscuous and not part of mainstream society.  I did know that there were many celebrities who were gay but they feared that coming out would hurt their careers – with a few exceptions like;  Holly Johnson (from Frankie Goes To Hollywood – remember the song Relax?), Elton John (was out as bi-sexual), Boy George (from Culture Club), Andy Bell (from Erasure) and Jimmy Sommerville (from Bronski Beat and The Communards).  Jimmy Sommervile was by far the person who I deemed the bravest – he had a huge hit with ‘Small Town Boy’ which depicted the ‘coming out’ story of a teenage boy.  This was my story and the story of so many other teenage boys (and girls) who were bullied and pushed to have their sexual identity oppressed and hidden.  In 1983 – the video tackled all the issues that the LGBT community faces – harrassment, bullying, not being accepted by friends and family etc.  It seemed that Jimmy Sommerville was the only ‘celebrity’ who was not afraid to be his authentic self and to address it in his music and videos.

There were many artists that were ‘gay-friendly’ and embraced the gay community and even used their voices to make us feel accepted and loved – Cher, Barbara Streisand, Donna Summer, Diana Ross and Bette Midler (just to name a few) – most of these celebrities or artists didn’t speak for my generation and I didn’t connect with their music as much as I did with Madonna.  Madonna was a voice for my generation – I felt like she was the voice I never had.  She was excepting, opinionated, direct, strong and did not care about what people thought of her.  She was innovative, provocative, sexual, controversial and made people notice and talk.  She was never afraid to say what she felt and was successful in her goal to ensure people talked about the things they were afraid to talk about – sex, religion, feminism, homosexuality.  Madonna was monumental in helping me coming out and being true to myself.

Today – it may not be as difficult for someone to come out and become their authentic selves.  There are gay role-models who are accepted and celebrated for who they are;  Ellen DeGeneres, Harvey Fierstein, Ricky Martin, Melissa Etheridge, Barney Frank, Rupaul and so many others.  There are artists that are speaking out and are not afraid to let their generation know that it is okay to be themselves without fear.  Adam Lambert is a perfect example of being his true authentic self and remain successful. 

The biggest defender of equality for all for today’s generation is Lady Gaga.  She is the Madonna for today’s generation.  She is a huge advocate for LGBT rights and is not shy to let everyone know that it is okay to express yourself and be who you are.   She has managed to express her message at the height of her career.  She truly is a huge role-model for today’s generation because she speaks for everyone despite their age or sexual orientation.  Lady Gaga’s message is a message of compassion, equality and strength.

I applaud Anderson Cooper for his decision to be public about his sexual orientation.  I know that he is not asking to be the voice of a generation or to be recognized as a public role-mode for the LGBT community but in coming out, he is clearly sending out a message that it is okay to represent yourself in a true and authentic way.

We all have our struggles in life – some are easier than others.  We must encourage each other to talk about those struggles (without judgment) to ensure that WE ALL have the support, love and compassion to make those struggles easier so that we can all truly be authentic to who we are.