What happens after we die? Is there life after death? These are very fearful thoughts for some people but let’s face it, as soon as we are born, are lives are limited on this planet. There is no need to fear death because you can’t fear what you don’t know. I see death as a return to where we all really came from. We can’t remember being born so surely, we won’t remember dying.
Thinking of my wonderful pets Freddy and Bradley – who left our world too soon, in my opinion, I take comfort knowing that neither were left behind in a state of misery, discomfort or pain. As hard as it was to lose them, I am glad that they returned ‘home’ without incident. This is how I look at someone’s passing – they are returning to where they belong. I used to have a fear of death – mainly because I thought too much of how I would go, if I would be in pain and where I would go (hell or heaven) based on the religious beliefs that were instilled into me.
Instead of focusing on the negative energies of death or the unknown. I came to terms that we are all born to die – you can’t change that, it is inevitable. Why fear it? Why not embrace it and live each moment in the moment?
Today, I want to take a moment to remember my Bradley and my Freddy. I also want to remember everyone else I loved that have gone back home. This is for you.
CLOUD NINE
written by Martin Gore and performed by Onetwo (Claudia Brucken and Paul Humphrey’s)
Thought I saw you up there
Drifting with the clouds
Thought I heard you call me
First quietly then loud
Is it imagination? What is real?
I think I’m part of you
I breathe like you feel
Can’t forget the power
The magic of the night
The overwhelming moment
I looked into your eyes
Dancing with the wind
Dancing in your arms
Gliding like two surfers
In the sea of love
Don’t ask for tomorrow
Just carry on with now
Don’t drown your heart in sorrow
I’ve got to leave you now
Don’t ask me for the future
Don’t cry for yesterday
It’s time to say goodbye now
I’m sure we’ll meet again
Moments turn to hours
Hours into days
My lonely heart is aching
Since you’ve gone away
I wish you’d read my mind
Send a little sign
I carry you so deeply
Within my soul
Don’t ask for tomorrow
Just carry on with now
Don’t drown your heart in sorrow
I’ve got to leave you now
Don’t ask me for the future
Don’t cry for yesterday
It’s time to say goodbye now
Together we can make the world a more positive one!
My spouse and I were recently asked by a friend and regarding the recent loss of my pet dog – Bradley, the following question: “Why are you guys not grieving over Bradley? I thought you would be more upset than you are.”
There are different levels of grief and my grief may not be the same as my husband’s grief. People grieve in different ways, stages and levels. I may look like I am happy and that all is well – but that certainly does not mean that my grief for my wonderful Bradley is non-existent. Grieving also doesn’t happen 24 hours a day and seven days a week….the grief I feel for the loss of my dog comes and goes and the intensity depends on what I am thinking of.
I know my friend wasn’t trying to sound insensitive to our grief – I think it is just his lack of knowledge or common sense of how the behaviours of grief vary from person to person.
I loved my dog – my spouse and I both loved our dog very much – better than many humans we know. We revolved everything around our dog. When we travelled, we only stayed at hotels that accepted pets. When we stayed at friends/family – we ensured that Bradley was allowed to come. We didn’t leave him at kennels because we felt that they would not be able to provide the kind of attention and focus that he was accustomed to. We treated our Bradley no different from how people lovingly treat their children.
I am grieving, I am in pain, I am mourning but I WILL NOT focus on that grief, on that pain and my mourning. I want to focus on the unconditional love that my best friend gave me and all the wonderful moments our family had together. Focusing on those wonderful memories will assist in the healing process and will allow us to heal in our own way and in our own time.
Here are some great resources for those who are overwhelmed with grief or can not deal with the loss of their beloved pet and family member:
A gay activist is beaten by Russian youths (Russia 2013)
I’m sure that New Yorkers wouldn’t care…..
Violence in the name of ignorance and hate.
Ignorance in religious institutions.
Gay = Death is some countries, IMAGINE.
Keep supporting those bigoted popular tourist destinations.
If Allah says so – then HE must be right, never question HIS judgement.
God really, REALLY hates homosexuals.
Another ‘hate-crime’ victim.
Gays LOVE, LOVE, LOVE sex much, much more than heterosexuals – it’s alright right here in these bullshit statistics.
Neighbourly love.
GOD really, REALLY, REALLY hates homosexuals.
If Religious leaders promote ignorance and hate – why shouldn’t their followers?
We won’t stop until we get ALL of your children.
Faggot and Queer – not subtle enough.
Nothing wrong with calling someone a fag.
Parental abuse at its best. Nothing like teaching your children the difference between right and wrong.
Hate crime violence is increasing – especially in gay communities around the world. People want to continue the oppression in the name of religious freedoms. They justify their hate and intolerance by siting bible passages and the God has said that homosexuality is ‘an abomination’ (God said nothing about committing acts of violence against another human being). For all of you people who say “why must they throw their perverted lifestyle in our faces” and “we don’t have a straight pride parade”……..you obviously have never been faced with the threat of violence because of whom you love. For you – everyday is ‘straight pride’ because your sexuality, lifestyle and whom you love is never an issue and most likely is never faced with the threat of violence and even death.
It is more important than ever to celebrate GAY PRIDE and to support your local Gay Pride events. The GAY PRIDE PARADE(s) is usually the close of week-long events for the community and is an overall representation and diversity of that community and its allies.
Together, we can make the world a more positive one!
A really good friend of mine – someone I have known for over 30 years, has recently lost her mother. It is sometimes difficult to find the words to express their loss. The only thing I know to do is to offer my empathy, sympathy, love and support to ensure that my friend and her siblings understand they are not alone in this process. During this time – I find it soothing to look back and reminisce on those memories I have of my friend’s mother – Barbara. I remember that she was kind, loving, supportive, encouraging and sometimes strict being a single mother raising 4 girls and a boy. Barbara’s smile was infectious and always lit up a room. She always seemed to have a positive outlook on life. Barbara was always present whenever she spoke to you and took a genuine interest in the lives of those she spoke with. She lived her life based on her faith and always trusted in a higher being to guide her way right until the end.
I know and understand that loosing someone is and will always be difficult. What I take comfort in, is knowing that when our loved ones pass and leave us – they are returning HOME. I don’t know what that is and what it looks like but I know (in my heart) that they are back where they belong. I also take comfort and rejoice when I access the memories our loved ones left behind, so in essence, they are not really gone – their physical bodies may be gone but their memories live on in those they have left behind.
Loss, for me, is a reminder that we must live each day with compassion and without judgment of others. Each day that I am alive – I want to feel the warmth of the sun on my face. I want to cherish the friendships I make, I want to advocate for the things I love. I want to live a meaningful life that encourages others to live with passion. I don’t know what happens after we die so why don’t we live for today, for this moment, for NOW because right NOW is all we have.
Barbara – thanks for showing me kindness and for reminding me to stand behind what I believe in. May the warmth that you have shown in life continue to shine and flow throughout the universe.
Together, we can make the world a more positive one.
Death is always hard – many of us have experienced the loss of a beloved mother, father, brother, sister, uncle, aunt or pet – it is never easy. I can’t remember my grandparents from my mom or dad’s side because I was too young. The first time I encounter a death in my family was when my dad’s mother died. I remember crying and screaming in fear because I did not want to say goodbye to a corpse laying in a coffin. It scared me and that should not have been forced upon me – especially when I had no real connection to her as I didn’t even know her.
The next time I recalled death was when a friend in high school died – I didn’t really know him that well, I was more connected with his two sisters. This death really made me think about my own mortality and instilled a fear in me that I could not shake. I remember thinking; “when will it be my time” “is it going to hurt” “how will I die” – thoughts of death tormented my soul.
Some time passed before someone close to me died – my uncle Al. For me, Al was like a friend – he enjoyed my taste and music and every once in a while would check in with me to see what my latest record purchases were. I remember the sleepover’s at their house and the weekend beach trips. The negative stories did surface about him and his family but as I was too young to remember them – I only focused on the good times our families shared.
Throughout my adult life – I have lost a good friend (Ricky Chan) and my wonderful and very protective pet – Freddy but the death that stirred the most varying emotions was the death of my partner’s mother. I felt sad when Ricky died and deeply emotional about my Freddy but when Lise McGuire died so many feelings I never even thought I would have surfaced. I was angry for many reasons – I felt she didn’t have enough time on this earth (she passed in her mid-40’s), I blamed her death on her religion (Jehovah’s Witness), I blamed her husband – thinking he didn’t do enough (even though I have no clue about what he did/did not do), I was angry because her sons and daughters would not have a mother any more.
I remember going to her funeral service and listening to people speak of her and felt angered because most of then didn’t even know this woman. I realized that the anger I felt was mostly because I didn’t get the opportunity to know her. I didn’t get to know her as my mother-in-law. I didn’t have the chance to see her love for her son Jason (my partner) and sharing such pivotal moments in his life – like our marriage to one another. I felt sad knowing that her death would leave voids in the lives of Jason’s younger brother and two sisters. To this day, I wonder what it was like for Jason’s sister to get married without the love and support of her mother. I wonder what it was like for her to give birth to two son’s without her mother’s guidance and love. I wonder what it was like for Jason’s younger brother to grow up without the nurturing, love, care and advice a young boy needs from his mother. I wonder what it was like for Jason’s older sister to recently go through a very serious operation without a mother’s strength and support.
I am so grateful that I still have my mother in my life – and I let her know it every time I see her. Death makes us feel so many things – anger, pain, sadness, anxiety, fear, confusion etc…those are the more predominant feelings and we have to allow ourselves to go through the emotions of grief. We all process grief in our own individual way. It is normal to ask ourselves how our lives would have turned out if those we have lost were still here. That is okay. For me – the most important thing to remember about those we have lost our the laughter and joy they brought into our lives. That is what makes the grief go away. I also take comfort in knowing that those who have gone are not really truly gone. I know that Lise McGuire’s presence is around and I know that she is proud of the lives her children are living.
Madonna wrote a song about her mother – which she lost at the age of 5. I don’t know if this was Madonna’s intent but my interpretation is that her adult self was sharing these words and advice to the 5-year-old Madonna who had just lost her mother. The words and message transcend gender even though the words are sung to a ‘little girl’.
PROMISE TO TRY
Little girl don’t you forget her face
Laughing away your tears
When she was the one who felt all the pain
Little girl never forget her eyes
Keep them alive inside
I promise to try — it’s not the same
Keep your head held high — ride like the wind
Never look behind, life isn’t fair
That’s what you said, so I try not to care
Little girl don’t run away so fast
I think you forgot to kiss — kiss her goodbye
Will she see me cry when I stumble and fall
Does she hear my voice in the night when I call
Wipe away all your tears, it’s gonna be all right
I fought to be so strong, I guess you knew
I was afraid you’d go away, too
Little girl you’ve got to forget the past
And learn to forgive me
I promise to try — but it feels like a lie
Don’t let memory play games with your mind
She’s a faded smile frozen in time
I’m still hanging on — but I’m doing it wrong
Can’t kiss her goodbye — but I promise to try
Promise To Try was written by Madonna and Patrick Leonard and is included on her album/cd – Like A Prayer. For more information about Madonna (discography, achievements, merchandise, touring etc) please visit Madonna’s official site: http://www.madonna.com
Together, we can make the world a more positive one.
George Michael is no stranger to controversy – with drug allegations, sex scandals and provocative videos. Despite that, he has also written some of the most brilliant songs as part of Wham! with Andrew Ridgely or own his own. He has written the classic and timeless; “Careless Whisper”, “Everything She Wants”, “Faith”, “One More Try”, “Father Figure”, “Jesus To A Child”, “Fastlove”, “Freedom 90”, “Praying For Time” and “Too Funky”.
George Michael also faced death last year as he struggled from pneumonia. Thankfully – he survived. He recorded a song to thank his fans for their love, support and prayers to become well. This song is my pick for ‘the song of the week’, it’s called “White Light”. Lyrics are first, then lyric video followed by the official video. ENJOY.
WHITE LIGHT
I’m back
I’m back
Prouder than ever baby
Louder than ever maybe
One more pill
Just one more beer
One less star in the atmosphere
For us
Maybe she just wanted to be free
Heartless pictures on TV
Change that channel that could’ve been me
I said
Maybe she just wanted to be free
So I just kept breathing my friends
Waiting for the man to choose
Saying this ain’t the day that it ends
Cause there’s no white light
And I’m not through
I’m alive
I’m alive
And I’ve got so much more that I want to do
With the music
Was it music that saved me?
Or the way that you prayed for me?
Guess either way I thank you
I’m alive
Hotel Motel makes it clear
One more voice we will never hear again
But maybe he just wanted to be free
And I don’t know
What the hell
What the gods
What the f**k
I’m saying
Half the time
But something divine
Oh divine
Brought me back to you
And I know it
So I just kept breathing my friends
Waiting for some god to choose
Saying this ain’t the day that it ends
Cause there’s no white light
And I’m not through
I’m alive
I’m alive
And I’ve got so much more that I want to do
Was it music?
Was it science that saved me?
Or the way that you prayed for me
Guess either way I thank you
I’m alive
And Tomorrow is mine
I said Tomorrow is mine
Said I just got to keep on breathing
I said no
Don’t let goooo
Breathing breathing breathing
Got to keep on
Got to keep on
Got to keep on
I just got to keep on breathing
I’m alive
I’m alive
And I got so much more that I want to give
Was it music?
Was it science that saved me?
Or the way that you prayed and prayed for me
Well I thank you
I’m a-live
Yeah
Mmm hmmm
Mmm hmmm
For more information about GEORGE MICHAEL, discography, etc…please visit the official George Michael website: http://www.georgemichael.com
You can also purchase the music of Wham! and George Michael on iTunes.
Together we can make the world a more positive one!
COALITION OF POSITIVE ENERGY 