How was it like for me to hide part of my true authentic self? I was born gay, so why was I trying so hard to hide this amazing part of myself…..well, here are some of the reasons I refused talking about my sexuality:
- I didn’t want my family to be ashamed of me.
- I didn’t want to lose any of my friends.
- I didn’t want to be kicked out of my parents house.
- Society invoked violence against the LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans-gender, queer) community – so why would I want to endure that?
- Gay people were going to hell.
- Gay people get AIDS and die.
- Gay people are not “normal”.
- Gay people are not equal to normal heterosexuals
- Gay people are “dykes”, “faggots”, “sissies”, “pussies”, “gross”, “pedophiles”…..
So why didn’t I stay in the closet? I was tired of trying to please everyone else but myself. Once I embraced my homosexuality as part of my true authentic self – I was able to live my life with more clarity, honesty and authenticity. No longer was I trying to hide who I was, no longer was I imprisoned by my desire to be what everyone else wanted me to be. I was free, I was whole, I was finally me. I was no longer afraid – I came to peace knowing that some people in my life (including family) would not accept this part of me but I didn’t care because there was nothing wrong with me.
I hope that there will be a day where gays and lesbians don’t have to ‘come out’ anymore because there is nothing to come out from. ‘Coming out’ isn’t for the sake of making other people feel better – coming out, for me, was a way for me to liberate myself from the fears and stereotypes that society imposed on gays and lesbians. If people accepted me already – why wouldn’t they embrace me after I empowered myself to live my true authentic life? People fear what they don’t understand. People are also slaves because of their religious beliefs and believe that the “sin of homosexuality” is an abomination. Not very Christian is it? (Please see my previous post ‘The Bible Mythology’ on many of the other things Christians should not be engaged in).
So – should we care when a celebrity comes out? Absolutely! What is the difference between homosexuals and heterosexuals (no this isn’t a joke)? Nothing but our sexual preference! As I have said many times before….I didn’t just decide to try being with men one day – I just knew I liked them and wanted to be with them in every way. If it was that easy for me to choose to be gay – then it must have been a choice for heterosexuals to be straight. Think about it – if, all of a sudden, I made the decision to be gay – then every other straigh man or woman could make the same decision as I did. Celebrities, athletes, politicians, and anyone else in the public eye should use their celebrity status as a platform to potentially save the lives of many individuals who struggle so hard in their decision to come out and live their authentic lives. Whether you are homosexual or heterosexual – we all want the same things – to be happy, to contribute to the community, to help those in need, to love, to be compassionate and to spread positivity into the world.
I love all those who have paved the way for me, like gay icons – Harvey Milk, Liberace, Elton John, Carole Pope, Boy George, Jimmy Sommerville, Holly Johnston, Divine, Rupaul, George Michael, Barney Frank, Rachel Maddow, Ricky Martin, Ellen DeGeneres, Jason Collins, Dan Savage, Gareth Thomas, Greg Louganis, Cazwell, Frank Ocean and so many others. I also love those who have continued to support the gay community and in our fight for equality, people like; Madonna, David Beckham, Bill Maher, Whoopi Goldberg, Margaret Cho, Joy Behar, Adam Levine, Chris Evans, Michelle Visage, Lady Gaga and so many other wonderful people.
Coming out isn’t easy – despite what others may say – coming out is about finally being able to face your fears and to go against everything that you believed to be true. Coming out is a realization that there was never anything wrong with you and only in those that instilled their hatred, ignorance and fear about homosexuals into society. Coming out is brave, liberating, joyous, loving, wonderful, strong and honest but, most importantly, coming out is about loving yourself.
Enjoy these videos:
COALITION OF POSITIVE ENERGY 