GAY MARRIAGE – IS IT THE END OF CIVILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT?

I have been legally married to my partner of almost 20 years now for just over 6 years.  Our marriage has not brought down the ‘wrath of God’, it has not disrupted any of the lives of our friends or family and it certainly hasn’t inconvenienced any of those who adamantly opposed it for years.   In the eyes of Canadian law – my partnership/marriage is treated as equal as that of my sister and her husband’s partnership or the partnership of my mother and father.  As it should be.

The Supreme Court of The United States (SCOTUS) is preparing to hear arguments in the Prop 8 (Proposition 8 was a California ballot proposition and a state constitutional amendment passed in November 2008 state elections.  The measure added a new provision, Section 7.5 of the Declaration of Rights, to the California Constitution, which provides that “only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California DOMA) and DOMA (Defence of Marriage Act).

It is my belief that if religious institutions don’t believe in gay marriage – they shouldn’t have to perform them and should not be forced to do so.  What I don’t agree with is when businesses deny their services or products to individuals because of their sexual orientation and religious beliefs.  I don’t understand why homosexuals would even support these religious institutions or businesses that blatantly discriminate against them because of who they love. 

Psychology Today listed Top 10 Reasons to Support Gay Marriage back in May 2012 – here is the Top 10:

1. Discrimination frays the human spirit.
2. Making committed human connections is good for physical and mental health.
3. Forming families, traditional or not, is good for the soul.
4. Marriage is a basic human right and an individual personal choice and the State should not interfere with same-gender couples who choose to marry.
5. Homosexuality is a normal variant of adult sexuality; gay men and lesbians possess the same potential and desire for sustained loving and lasting relationships as heterosexuals including loving and parenting children.  This is supported by hard data, not just opinion.
6. Discriminatory marriage laws deprive gay and lesbian couples of over 1000 federal rights and benefits.
7. Deprivation of these benefits has demonstrable negative psychological and social impact on same-sex couples, their children and families.
8. Change and adaptation make for a stronger and psychological richer society.
9. Same-sex couples can teach heterosexual couples how couples in relationships lacking gender-based power dynamics often solve problems and make decisions with more respect and mutuality.
10. Ending discrimination enhances the human spirit and makes all of our lives better.

(Some of these reasons are taken from the position statement of the American Psychoanalytic Association on gay marriage approved in 1997 and revised in 2008. To read the entire statement and other American psychoanalytic Association position statements on gay rights and other social issues, go to http://apsa.org/About_APsaA/Position_Statements.aspx)

Gay marriage or homosexuality – will not be the end of civilization.  Homosexuality has been around since the beginning of time and the world has been no different.  People tend to fear what they don’t know or understand.  If people don’t let go of their fears and come to understand that we are all the same – then they will never be able to let go of their ignorance and intolerance. 

Together, we can make the world a more positive one.