I came across this YouTube video a few days ago and so many emotions and thoughts went through my head – I also was empathetic with this young boy because I to was in the exact place that he was in.

Before I discuss the subject matter of the video….please watch:

This is blog is written for Austin Gates and for all others who are struggling with living their authentic true lives:

There is no reason to feel ashamed and guilty in being gay! You came into the world as you were supposed to, like everyone else. Some of us happen to be gay, others are heterosexual, black, hispanic, blue-eyed, brunette etc….we can’t help it, so embrace it, own it and LOVE IT! Many LGBTQ youth/men and women need to embrace their authenticity otherwise they will only be robbing themselves of living lives that reflect who they truly were meant to be – trust me, I know as I lived a lie for so many years.

Austin, your mother obviously has some issues she needs to deal with. Don’t carry the burdens she passed on to you. Seek counselling and get therapy for the physical and emotional abuse she has put you through. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!! There is no excuse for senseless violence – for any reason! A mother should be loving, nurturing and supportive. I to was a victim of physical and emotional abuse and I will tell you that IT DOES GET BETTER!

The road for recovery for me began with forgiveness. I thought I would never be able to forgive my father for the physical and emotional hurt he caused me. I thought it would be so hard to get passed that emotional pain. But I did. I have never forgotten what my father did to me, but I did forgive him. I put myself in his shoes and thought about the kind of life he had and all the physical and emotional abuse he faced as a boy and young man. When I did this, I felt pain for my dad because he wasn’t able to resolve and reconcile any of the emotional and physical abuse he faced by the hands of his father or mother.

Playing with barbies doesn’t make you gay, just like playing with trucks and baseball bats doesn’t make you straight. Those are stereotypes and generalizations people have made about others to make them feel good about themselves. I know many gay men who didn’t play with barbies when they were young and I also know some ‘straight’ men who did. Let go of that notion as it is not an important thing to hang onto.

So many teens are kicked out of their homes because their parents can’t deal with a homosexual son or daughter – These parents need to understand that NOTHING is wrong with their child and that their irrational decisions may lead to that child’s dependency on drugs and alcohol. It may also lead to suicide. The issue isn’t with the child – the issue is with the parent. Parents usually think “oh what did I do wrong”, “how can my son/daughter be gay”, “what will family/friends think”, etc. These are the same thoughts that the child has and instead of being told that all will be fine – these children are usually abandoned. What is it that allows a mother and father to abandon their children like this? Many people claim that homosexuality goes against their religious beliefs and quote random passages in the bible. This is not true and without getting into a huge religious debate – if God does exist, I don’t believe He/She/It would want His/Her/Their word to be ones filled with hate and judgement.

Austin – feel comfortable in your skin and know that you are as you should be. Stay in control, deal with your pain through therapy. Seeing a good therapist and talking about the abuse you went through will help you. Atlanta has a very supportive gay community that can help you with this! FORGIVE – your mother has issues that she needs to work through – hopefully she will.

Where ever you are now – I hope that you live with someone who is supportive, compassionate and loves you for being your authentic and true-self. Remember, you are not alone. There are so many resourceful places that you can go to for support and guidance. Here are some helpful resources in the Atlanta area:

http://www.therainbowcenter.org/

http://www.pflagatl.org/ (PFLAG Atlanta)

http://www.lost-n-found.org/

http://glbtnationalhelpcenter.org/index2.html

http://lgbt.wikia.com/wiki/Atlanta_Gay_Center

http://www.chriskids.org/home-page

http://www.standupforkids.org/