YOU, BEING STRAIGHT…IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE.

I am so tired of people saying, “he’s too gay” or  “that’s so gay”.  This automatically suggests that there is something wrong or negative about the word or being gay.  I am also tired of people becoming frustrated or complaining that there is too much gay news everywhere.  Yeah right, too much gay news of bullied teens committing suicide or states denying the LGBT community some fundamental basic rights.

I knew I was gay for a long time, as far as I can remember, but I also knew that the time was not right for me to ‘come out’, as a matter-of-fact, I feared that it wasn’t safe for me to come out.  During the time that I lived as a shadow of who I was supposed to be I felt despair, anxiety, depression, anger, hate, confusion and the isolated.  I could relate to the oppression women or how people of colour felt and no-one should be made to feel so unloved or unwanted.

I could understand how activists become aggressive in their fight for equality especially after you have been oppressed and even put to death for fighting for equality.  There was a time when people of colour were not allowed to be in the same spaces as white people  – not very long ago either.  There was a time when women couldn’t vote.  Today, homosexuality is still punishable by death in many countries.  Yet, I am told that I can’t have a gay pride parade because straight people don’t have straight pride. 

I have heard people saying that it is too much for them to handle people ‘gayness’ – like it’s a bad habit such a smoking or drinking too much – I wonder how offended they would get if I told them (with all my GAY PROUDNESS) how offended I am with their straightness?  Well, you would never hear that from me because it is not conducive to creating good energy.

For all those gay people who are struggling with their sexuality and authenticity – I am here to tell you.  ALL WILL BE BETTER, just embrace and love who you are.  You will be surprised of all the allies you will have both straight and gay.  People who only see you as the loving and beautiful person you are.  There is nothing wrong with you because you are a reflection of who created you!

Here are some great and POSITIVE quotes regarding homosexuality from some people you may or may not know…..they will surprise you:

“If a bullet should ever enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door.” – Harvey Milk

“The only queer people are those who don’t love anybody.” – Rita Mae Brown

 “We are sick of hearing people say, “That band is so gay,” or “Those guys are fags.”  Gay is not a synonym for shitty.  If you wanna say something’s shitty, say it’s shitty.  Stop being such homophobic assholes.” – Pete Wentz

“Anybody can be unhappy.  We can all be hurt.  You don’t have to be poor to need something or somebody.  Rednecks, hippies, misfits – we’re all the same.  Gay or straight?  So what?  It doesn’t matter to me.  We have to be concerned about other people, regardless.” – Willie Nelson

“Some people think I am gay, which I think is awesome.” – Daniel Radcliffe

“My thoughts on gay marriage are that everyone has the right to love and to be loved, and that’s the position I take.” – Nick Jonas

“The poetry you read has been written for you, each of you – black, white, Hispanic, man, woman, gay, straight.” – Maya Angelou

“From a religious point of view, if God had thought homosexuality is a sin, he would not have created gay people.” – Howard Dean

“Tell me:  When God looks at a gay person, does he endorse the existence of this person with love, or reject and condemn this person?…It is necessary to accompany them with mercy.” – Pope Francis

“I could be wrong, but I think heterosexual marriage is threatened more by heterosexuals.  I don’t know why gay marriage challenges my marriage in any way.” – Elizabeth Edwards

“My life has been immensely enriched by gay mentors, colleagues and friends, any discrimination and persecution of gay people is unacceptable.” – Mikhail Baryshnikov

“By large in this country the issue of gay rights and equality should be past the point of debate.  Really, there should be no debate anymore.” – Scott Fujita

“Just being out you’re doing your part.  It’s like recycling.  You’re doing your part for the environment if you recycle; you’re doing your part for the gay movement if you’re out.” – Martina Navratilova

“It should never be a crime to be gay.” – Hillary Clinton

“Gay people are born everyday.  You will never legislate that away.” – Melissa Etheridge

“I have some good friends of my own who happen to be gay, and when it comes to gay, straight or whatever, I’m for anything life-affirmative.  I’m for gay power, straight power, male power, female power; everybody should feel empowered without oppressing anyone who’s different.” – Matthew McConaughey

“I kind of cheer the presence of any gay characters at all – I think the more we can saturate television with any gay character or lesbian character or transgender character, I think that’s a really great thing.  We’re kind of getting past the fact that they’re the punchline or that they’re the novelty.” – Jesse Tyler Ferguson

“Yeah, I had gay friends.  The first thing I realized was that everybody’s different, and it becomes obvious that all of the gay stereotypes are ridiculous.” – Bruce Springsteen

“Americans know as much about Canada as straight people do about gays.  Americans arrive at the border with skis in July, and straight people think that being gay is just a phase.  A very long phase.” – Scott Thompson

“I’m for all kinds of gay rights.  I’m almost like a gay man myself.” – NeNe Leakes

“Even in high school, I had friends that I didn’t know were gay until years later.  I’d find out on Facebook or something and be like, ‘Oh, that explains some things,’ or ‘Wow, no wonder they were so cool.” – Kellan Lutz

“Gay men in a very real way created my career.” – Marianne Williamson

“I know gay – gay people who aren’t married who are better parents than some, you know, straight people I know who are married.” – Dennis Leary

“I did a woman’s movie, and I’m not a woman.  I did a gay movie, and I’m not gay.  I learned as I went along.” – Ang Lee

“People were saying that David Geffen and I had gotten married and it just blew me away.  Not that they thought I was gay, but that they thought I could land a guy that hot.” – Keanu Reeves

And the most important quote of all (joking)……

“My sexuality doesn’t define who I am as a person – it is the way that I treat others that defines me.” – Robert Pavao

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

JASON COLLINS IS GAY!

I am sure that many have heard the news that pro NBA player – Jason Collins has proclaimed that he is gay!  Here are comments that people have made about this news:

“I’m proud to call Jason Collins a friend.” – Bill Clinton (via twitter)

“When I see you I’m gonna hug your knees so hard.” – Ellen Degeneres

“This is what role models are made of.  Here’s to a time when it’s no big deal.” – Ricky Gervais (via twitter)

“Thank you for not being afraid to speak up and speak out.  Thank you for your courage.” – Representative John Lewis (via twitter)

“Hey @JasonCollins34 I’m still gayer than you!” – Rupaul (via twitter)

“So proud of you, Jason Collins!  This is a huge step forward for our country.  We’ve got your back!” – Michelle Obama, FLOTUS (via twitter)

“Collins has led the way to freedom. Yes, freedom — because that closet is completely and utterly suffocating. It’s only when you come out that you can breathe properly. It’s only when you come out that you can be exactly who you are. Collins’ action will save lives. This is no exaggeration: Fully one-third of suicides among teenagers occur because of their sexuality. Collins will truly affect lives, too. Millions of kids will see that it is OK to be gay. No need for shame, no need for embarrassment, no need for hiding” – Martina Navratilova (Sports Illustrated column)  – Martina came out in 1981 at the height of her pro-tennis career.

Not all of the news was positive though…..here are what non-supporters have said (again, hiding behind religion to justify their bigotry and ignorance):

“Personally, I don’t believe that you can live an openly homosexual lifestyle or an openly, like premarital sex between heterosexuals. If you’re openly living that type of lifestyle, then the Bible says you know them by their fruits. It says that, you know, that’s a sin. If you’re openly living in unrepentant sin, whatever it may be, not just homosexuality, whatever it maybe, I believe that’s walking in open rebellion to God and to Jesus Christ. So I would not characterize that person as a Christian because I don’t think the bible would characterize them as a Christian.” – ESPN sportscaster Chris Broussard

“I will guarantee you if the ownership of whatever team is thinking about bringing him back or thinking about trading for him – and they go to the players on that team and they say ‘how do you feel about an out, active homosexual being in the same locker room sharing the same shower facilities with you’ they’d say ‘no way. I don’t want that. I don’t want some guy, a teammate eyeballin’ me in the shower and my wife does not want that.” –  Bryan Fischer (AFA – America Family Association)

Here is Jason Collins first interview after ‘coming out’ on Good Morning America:

I focused on the positive comments because it is that feedback that matters.  Those who make negative comments are hiding behind their fear of what they don’t want to understand.   Some of my (gay) friends have made comments such as;  “big deal, there are many courageous individuals that are not in the public eye that ‘come out’ every day and don’t even receive half as much attention”.  Yes, many individuals come out everyday – which is also great.  However, it is not everyday where a pro-athlete decides to risk their future career by announcing to the world they are homosexual.  Jason Collins coming out IS a big deal.  As Martina Navratilova indicated in her Sports Illustrated column (see comments above).  In addition to this giving our LGBT youth the courage and strength to come out and live their true authentic lives – it may also inspire other pro-athletes to stop denying their right to live their true authentic selves.

Looking back – I wonder how much earlier I would have come out had some of my role-models made such an important and public statement.  Never-the-less, Jason Collins news is wonderful, inspiring and important for reasons that heterosexuals may not understand.  One such reason is that gay youth, men and women may not feel a disconnect and alone when there is such a high-profile role model in the public eye and that there are others that are just like them.

Jason Collins did not come out to seek attention – he come out to truly live his authentic life and in doing so, has probably saved the lives of so many who are struggling with their own sexuality.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!