My spouse and I were recently asked by a friend and regarding the recent loss of my pet dog – Bradley, the following question: “Why are you guys not grieving over Bradley? I thought you would be more upset than you are.”
There are different levels of grief and my grief may not be the same as my husband’s grief. People grieve in different ways, stages and levels. I may look like I am happy and that all is well – but that certainly does not mean that my grief for my wonderful Bradley is non-existent. Grieving also doesn’t happen 24 hours a day and seven days a week….the grief I feel for the loss of my dog comes and goes and the intensity depends on what I am thinking of.
I know my friend wasn’t trying to sound insensitive to our grief – I think it is just his lack of knowledge or common sense of how the behaviours of grief vary from person to person.
I loved my dog – my spouse and I both loved our dog very much – better than many humans we know. We revolved everything around our dog. When we travelled, we only stayed at hotels that accepted pets. When we stayed at friends/family – we ensured that Bradley was allowed to come. We didn’t leave him at kennels because we felt that they would not be able to provide the kind of attention and focus that he was accustomed to. We treated our Bradley no different from how people lovingly treat their children.
I am grieving, I am in pain, I am mourning but I WILL NOT focus on that grief, on that pain and my mourning. I want to focus on the unconditional love that my best friend gave me and all the wonderful moments our family had together. Focusing on those wonderful memories will assist in the healing process and will allow us to heal in our own way and in our own time.
Here are some great resources for those who are overwhelmed with grief or can not deal with the loss of their beloved pet and family member:
http://petlosscanada.com/resources/
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Dealing-with-the-Death-of-a-Pet
COALITION OF POSITIVE ENERGY 